--- What A Long, Starnge, Trip It's Been ---

To the world, you are one person...but to one person, you are the world!

�I miss you, Beanie!
2005-03-12 at 11:34 p.m.

They can NEVER grow up. That's all there is to it! They are my BABIES and shall remain that way forever.
OK, so that's not realistic. However, in MY mind, it just has to BE that way.
Kelly has "run away from home."
She has been looking forward to her stay overnight at Grammie's house for some time, and that night was Friday night. I was to pick her up on Saturday, but when I called her, she already convinced my mom to allow her one more night. I asked her if she missed Mommy as much as Mommy missed her. "No." Was she having fun? "YES!" - followed by a ten minute discertation of all the COOL stuff she got to do with Grammie, including several shopping trips with PRIZES and a half-eaten package of marshmallow peeps. Blowing bubbles in the living room. Sleeping in Grammie's big bed with her, the kitty cats at her feet for amusement. Absolute heaven.
I called her several times throughout today, just to be sure that she hadn't changed her mind. Nope.
She actually answers the phone now, and realizing it's me, says, "Mommy! WHY do you keep calling me?"
OK, fine. I'll just tuck Carrie in again tonight before I go to bed, and see that other little empty bed with Dora sheets. A pair of pink slippers unused. For lunch tomorrow, there will be leftovers again.
There is no one here for Carrie to fight with, so it has been quiet. TOO quiet.
I don't much care for this. So why is it that I actually WISH for it sometimes? Just a little quiet time? Now it's quiet and it's freaking me out. I want my little girl back!
I want to hear her singing joyously when she doesn't know I am listening. I want to see her dance, her piggy-tails flapping along with her jumping. I want to hear that tiny little voice asking me a zillion questions while I am trying to concentrate on something. I want to hear her teaching her little sister about the world.
I want her to walk in the room for no reason and say, "Mommy?" And I will say, "Yes, Kelly?" And she will simply reply, "I love you!"
And my heart will melt, as it does every time.
I want to feel that warm little body sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night, feel the soft little pajamas that smell like fabric softener. I long to hear that soft breathing on the pillow next to mine.
On another note, I haven't updated in a little while. I tried yesterday, but managed to delete an entire huge entry and then gave up. Things are okay right now....they really are. More on that later, when I am in a mood to analyze things that I don't really understand.
Kelly and Carrie made their very first snowman last week. It was adorable, about the same height as Kelly. The first picture was supposed to be a snowman with a little girl on each side, but Carrie wanted to stand by KELLY and moved herself on over. Kelly did not like the arrangement, and shoved Carrie just as Daddy took the picture. Obviously, another special moment caprtured as Carrie cries in dismay and Kelly sports a very bitchy look of authority...

The second picture was an attempt to get Carrie with a happier expression. Kelly took the camera for a photo of Daddy and Carrie, although she cut Daddy off a little...it still looks cute, since Carrie's face shows her total amazement with the snowman!

I just love those little midgets!
Currently, the snowman has been reduced to a pile of mush. The weather warmed up for one day, just enough to melt his head off. The girls went out to investigate, and Kelly removed the rotting carrot nose and proceeded to make a "chair" out of the remains of Mr. Snowman. Now, even the chair has been destroyed. And to think I was worried that they would both be UPSET when it melted! ;)