To the world, you are one person...but to one person, you are the world!

�-
2004-10-15 at 1:09 p.m.

I'm going on strike.
I'm looking around at the house, and all that needs to be done, and feeling very disgusted that *I* am the only one who does any of it. 3 meals a day, clean laundry, etc... will keep me busy enough without all the OTHER crap that needs to be done. We need groceries. Stuff is piling up that needs to be put away. There is just SHIT everywhere. And I don't feel like doing any of it because once I start, I won't stop until it looks halfway livable, and my whole day will be gone. Again. I'm just sick of it.
I don't WANT to be the only one who worries about things that need to be done on a daily basis. Doctor and dentist appointments for everyone, prescriptions that need refilled, running out of laundry detergent, budgeting. Cleaning. Keeping the kids clean, fed, napped and happy. Cleaning. Making sure we have toilet paper. Justifying everything I do. And somehow, it's never enough anyways, so why bother?
I want to go out tonight. Play euchre with my friends, laugh like crazy, and enjoy people who give me friendship and positive attention. I don't want to be HERE, working, cleaning, and wishing someone had something nice to say to me. I want to be there, feeling like a part of something happy- not here, feeling like an unappreciated slave.
Funny, I used to prefer to be home with my family. Somehow, over time, I have become nothing more than needed for their own survival more than needed for who I am.

Last Five

Nostalgic Mama - 2005-08-21
Fitting, I suppose- though a bit outdated? - 2005-07-24
Pathetic Wondering - 2005-05-30
Brain-Dead Carnie - 2005-05-22
The Bedbugs Bit Me - 2005-05-16

�