To the world, you are one person...but to one person, you are the world!

�-
2004-02-10 at 10:29 p.m.

The car, after the accident...

Nice, eh?

I'm glad Brian & Carrie are ok, I really am. Being as angry as I have been at Brian, it just makes me angrier to think my BABY could have been killed.

He's diabetic, and has a habit of driving a car and not checking his glucose levels first. "He's too busy." I have nagged & nagged, i always make him do it if he's around me, but I can't control when he leaves work or leaves from somewhere else.

I think this was the final straw in our marriage. His irresponsibility put my child at risk, and I've just had it. Any mother would understand that. After the wreck, of course, he was going to do things differently. That lasted TWO DAYS. I can check the memory on his machine & see the time & results of his blood sugar checks, and his FIRST day back to work, he left without testing & came home with low blood sugar.

Damn it, I give up.

He has GOT to get his shit together.

There's a lot of other issues. I told him a month ago I was fed up. If I had a place to go or money to do it, I'd take my girls & be out of here. He asked for marriage counselling, I told him FINE. He was supposed to set it up through work, so we wouldn't go broke (or broke-ER) doing this. Of course he blew it off. In retrospect, I'm glad, because I don't think a regular, secular shrink would help me much. I called a pastor at the church we last attended & he agreed to see us Thursday evening. We don't get to church much because the kids are rather obnoxious in church and the nursery moms are tortured by their "Mommy separation anxiety" so I feel guilty leaving them in there. But the pastor still was happy to help us. I just hope he can!

Last Five

Nostalgic Mama - 2005-08-21
Fitting, I suppose- though a bit outdated? - 2005-07-24
Pathetic Wondering - 2005-05-30
Brain-Dead Carnie - 2005-05-22
The Bedbugs Bit Me - 2005-05-16

�